How to Talk to Gallery Staff (According to Gallerists)

I was in New York this week, flying through as many galleries as possible in a single day with my intrepid Viewing Rooms partner, Anne Parke. We hit, among many others, Harper’s 3-artist show, Boesky’s summer group show, Fredericks & Freiser, Susan Inglett Gallery, Morgan Lehman, Silke Lindner, Jane Lombard Gallery, and Shrine. Somewhere around gallery three, I started wondering what gallerists actually think when new visitors walk in the door, like how to talk to gallery staff. I put the same question to a few different gallerists: what is the most annoying thing people say when they walk in? And what makes you want to have a real conversation?

I expected a list of etiquette sins. What I got was more interesting than that.

The small stuff came first, and it was actually funny (and very surprising to me!) in how consistent it was. Don’t assume the person who greets you and tells you about the show is the artist. Literally, this was the first thing all three gallerists said. Who knew this was the most common obnoxious question gallerists get?! As one gallerist put it to me, half-laughing: “it’s not like some county fair tent!”

The third gallerist I talked to, who happens to be one of my favorite Chelsea gallerists as well, walked me through the whole tell of a first-timer. Obviously, the artist question is a dead giveaway. But then you have the assumption a group show with five wildly different painters is somehow all one person. Then there’s the guessing that anything good in the room must be a name they already know, a Basquiat sighted in the wild. And finally there’s the whispering. People walk into galleries like they’ve entered a library, or a church. Ha!

None of this, he told me, actually bothers him. Newness doesn’t. What he said next is the part that matters.

The thing that genuinely annoys gallerists, it turns out, has nothing to do with sophistication. It’s bad faith. Collectors who know exactly what they’re doing and choose to behave badly anyway — complaining about paying tax, or refusing to, as if it’s optional. Renegotiating terms after a deal is already made, after the invoice is sent. Dragging their feet on payment for weeks, sometimes longer. “The great thing about unseasoned collectors,” he said, “is that they pay right away.”

Sit with that for a second, because it undoes the exact fear that keeps most people out of galleries in the first place. The worry is always some version of: I’ll ask a stupid question, I’ll say the wrong thing, I’ll out myself as someone who doesn’t belong here. But that isn’t what actually irritates the person behind the desk. A sincere, uninformed question doesn’t cost anyone anything. Bad faith does. Gallerists have a genuinely high tolerance for not knowing — what they don’t have patience for is people who do know better, acting like the rules don’t apply to them.

So if you’re the person standing outside a gallery window trying to decide whether you’re allowed to go in: you are. And here are a few conversation starters and pro tips:

Ask who the artist is if you’re not sure who’s who. Just reframe “Are you the artist?” to “Who is the artist?” That simple question tees up the gallerist perfectly to give you their spiel. They have it down pat. Trust.

Ask what drew the gallery to this artist.

Ask if the gallerist has been to the artist’s studio.

Read the writing on the wall before asking if all the work is by the same artist. Like, literally, the gallery will have text ON THE WALL usually in large lettering that tells you the name of the exhibition, the artist’s name, and some information about the show.

Ask the price point or price range, plainly, the way you’d ask at any shop. But not first. This is a totally fair question and helps everyone involved understand if you are just an art-curious visitor looking at great work or a serious buyer. Neither is bad or wrong. But don’t lead with this question. Demonstrate genuine interest in the practice first. Whether you are there to look or actually buy, your first order of business is to learn about the artist. You want to do that either way.

An artist’s show is an exhibition, not an exhibit. We exhibit dinosaur bones. We show artist’s work in an exhibition. Maybe it sounds petty, but the art world is stereotyped as snobs for a reason. We are who we are. Just roll with it.

Talk at a normal volume. I mean don’t scream, but you can just talk to the gallerist like you are talking to a friend.

Honestly, you are not going to be the most annoying person who walked through that door today, and you are extremely unlikely to be the least welcome. The bar is lower than you think, and it was never about how much you already knew.

Next up in this series: what actually separates buying from a gallery and buying at auction — because the etiquette isn’t the only thing that’s different.